Your Jedi Mind Tricks Will Not Work On Me

January 6, 2007

I answered a lot of phone calls at my Los Angeles internship at Dark Horse Entertainment. Often this also involved taking messages for people who wanted to speak to my boss Chris. If, for some reason a person were to call wanting to speak to his boss, Dark Horse Comics President Mike Richardson, I would transfer them to Chris and he would take care of it personally.

Even though we were a small independent production office, 90 percent of the phone calls we received were people looking for some kind of job. Even people who you would assume already had a job, people whose names you would recognize, called on a somewhat regular basis looking for work and trying to sell their latest projects. If someone called specifically to do so, regardless of who they were, the appropriate action was to take a message and have Chris or Mike call them back at their convenience.

Formerly attractive

On one day a particularly eventful phone call came in. I put down whatever I was doing at the time (most like an AIM conversation or reading through back issues of Hellboy) and answered the phone in my typical friendly fashion:

“Hello, Dark Horse Entertainment.”

“Yes… I need to speak to Mike.”

The voice sounded strangely familiar, and it took only a second to recognize it. Holy Crap. Mark Hamill was on the phone!

You’re probably wondering how I knew it was Mark Hamill. First of all, I’ve seen every episode of ‘Batman: The Animated Series’ and could recognize his voice instantly. Also, he sounded like someone who used to be incredibly attractive, famous and popular (as opposed to someone who currently is.) Who else could it be but Mark Hamill?

After a few seconds of silent awe, I realized that both Mike and Chris were in the middle of a meeting. I would have to take a message. This seems like a simple task, but in my world it’s always the things like this that end up with disastrous results.

“I’m very sorry, sir. Mike is in a meeting right now. May I take a message?”

“No. I need to speak to him now. This is Mark Hamill.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hamill. I’ll have to take a message. Mike is unavailable.”

It was at this point I realized how much it must suck to be Mark Hamill. At one time he probably could have gotten a private audience with The Pope, and now some college intern is making him leave a message. Once again I reasserted my dominance, only further upsetting the guy. After asking a fourth time to leave a message, Mark Hamill shouted an expletive and hung up on me. I laughed at the absurdity of the situation, and went back to killing time in a more entertaining way. About an hour later Chris walked up to my deck and asked if anyone had called while they were in the meeting.

Yeah, Luke Skywalker called and he was pissed.

36 Responses to “Your Jedi Mind Tricks Will Not Work On Me”

  1. Sara Says:

    You tell the best freaking stories.I just wanted to let you know. This is why I adore you.

  2. N Says:

    [c’est top]

  3. Shinmaru Says:

    [esto es genial]

  4. Dead Says:

    [esto es genial]

  5. jctucker Says:

    The office is fun there. At comic con I walked past Mike in the hotel while I was wearing his name badge.

  6. Sara Says:

    I forgot to check the box the first time. But this is good, anyway. You know that.

  7. sarahism Says:

    I like that you can tell so much from just a voice. I would have never noticed.

  8. Tori-kins Says:

    Josh! I'm glad I found a place where you are writing
    regularly. I particularly enjoyed this story, although it made me
    realize just how long it's been since I've talked to you and had any
    idea what was going on in your life… =(

  9. Rosemarie Says:

    THAT is excellent. I don't think I ever found him attractive, though. Weak chin.

  10. Roboco Says:

    i absolutely LOVE your last line … brilliant!

  11. Con Season Says:

    *dies laughing* *resurrects* *dies again* Holy freakin' crap, this just made my day!

  12. Sara Says:

    Dear Shy, Welcome to the wonderful world of "who the heck are these people commenting on my posts?!"Love, Sara

  13. I found you by accident – This post is hilarious!!! Thanks for writing it.

  14. Mathilde Says:

    That's fabulous. I have had more than my share of stange celebrity interactions but that one takes the cake.

  15. Dead Says:

    I submitted you to TIG, Josh. Love me.

  16. veracity Says:

    What, no Jedi mind trick?

  17. RedScylla Says:

    Suck it does, being on the D-list.

  18. Denise Says:

    Don't mess with his Wookie friend!!!

  19. REDmjck Says:

    after seeing star wars for the first time, my 10-year-old self fell in love with luke skywalker/mark hamill (they were the same to me). my parents helped me find his address and i wrote him, begging him to reply, maybe even send an autographed photo… i got nothing. i should have fallen in love with han solo instead…good stuff! thanks for sharing 🙂

  20. Loony Says:

    Loved this! Thanks for sharing! =)

  21. [this is glorious] lmfao. that's just about the coolest thing.

  22. EccoXile Says:

    [esto es genial]

  23. Gdub Says:

    That's awesome. Poor Mr. Hamil.

  24. lemon Says:

    [esto es genial]

  25. Whoa. That's awesome… and yet, so unawesome. You're lucky he didn't crush you with his fake right hand.

  26. Jennifer Says:

    It sure would be fun to interact with celebs, though. The closest I've come is meeting Wally Shawn (of 'inconceivable' Princess Bride fame) at a Kinko's long ago.Thanks for the funny.

  27. Cavatica Says:

    Man, that's cool. Getting a call from the Joker, telling you to piss off or something. 🙂 Good piece, there.

  28. Cams Says:

    Too funny. A nice start to the day.

  29. Special Says:

    Very funny. Thanks for the laugh. I'd hate to be the one to piss off Luke Skywalker. I'm weak. His Jedi mind tricks probably would have worked on me.

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