Jeepers Creepers

August 18, 2008

Today was a big week for classic Teen Titans supervillain, Dr. Arthur Light:

The Creepiest Supervillain in Comics!

Without giving too much away, let’s just say that Dr. Light won’t be terrorizing Wonder Girl with evil disco balls anytime soon.  Honestly I’m glad it happened, but what will become of the DC Universe (and all of comics) during the interim between his death and subsequent resurrection?! Comic books need a scumbag and they need one NOW.

Fortunately for us there is no shortage of monsters waiting in the wings! Who will be able to claim Dr. Light’s throne as the creepiest supervillain in comic books?


Toyman (Winslow Schlott)

Claim to fame: A classic Superman villain. Schlott has been the victim of bad characterization since the Silver Age. His obsession with children is more than a little unwholesome, as were Infinite Crisis-era revelations that he abused them. Fortunately most of these things were retconned away as being the work of evil toy duplicates he created, which in reality is even more creepy than having him do it himself.


Monsieur Mallah

Claim to fame: Mallah was once a regular French Gorilla until Doom Patrol villain The Brain experimented on him. Mallah gained superhuman intelligence, the ability to speak, and deep feelings of love towards his new master. When the Brain’s body was destroyed, he continued to live on in a glass jar, but this did not stop their relationship. Clearly it’s not the gay thing that bothers me, but more the disembodied brain/talking gorilla thing. Who comes up with this stuff!?


Swordsman (Andreas Von Strucker)

Claim to fame: One of several inbred children of Baron Von Strucker, Swordsman’s powers tie directly to his sibling. Only by touching one another can they access their superpowers and unfortunately for Strucker, his sister died several years ago. To overcome this, Strucker skinned his sister’s body and attached it to the hilt of his sword.

I repeat, HE SKINNED HIS SISTER’S BODY AND ATTACHED IT TO THE HILT OF HIS SWORD. Oh, and he’s in love with his sister as well.

Ew. I need to take a shower now. Finish the darn contest yourself.


2 Responses to “Jeepers Creepers”

  1. capspud Says:

    You forgot Ultimate Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch, who had the “subtle hints of creepiness” thing going until Jeph Loeb showed up and decided to beat us over the head, shouting “YO! THEY’Z FUCKIN’, PEEPS!”.

    Ultimates 3: the greatest tragedy in comics’ recent history.

  2. Tony Says:

    Man. Sometimes I think I’m better off not keeping up with comics anymore lol.

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